5 Tips to Become a Great Listener
The best compliment you can get as a listener is when someone says “You summarized my ideas better than I originally said them."
Over the last 4 years I had the opportunity to watch some amazing leaders at Facebook absorb and summarize complex issues in product reviews. Sometimes they reframed the entire place problem using a different set of criteria that makes the decision making much obvious.
I realized that one of reasons they were able to do pull that off was because they were freaking amazing listeners!
I made a concerted effort to become a better listener ever since and here are 5 tips to better listening.
Intention: Set clear intentions of seeking to understand the other person’s point as deeply as they themselves do.
Presence: Give a 100% of your mind to what the other person is saying and doing. Behave like the rest of the world has stopped and the only thing that is happening is this one person talking to you.
Manage the flood of thoughts: As you start listening a rush of your own ideas and reactions will flood your brain. Intentionally put them aside and bring yourself back to listen.
Hold your response: Sometimes you may feel the urge to add your idea into the pool while they are speaking, hold that thought for just a big longer until they are fully finished.
Confirm your understanding: once you have listened deeply, summarize your understanding and play it back to the other person to make sure it accurately represents their point of view.
If you can do this the other person will feel truly heard. It is an experience that they don’t normally have.